Masturbation

I've been reading other students' blogs on the subject of masturbation, and the general consensus is that we don't talk about it unless it's in a comedic situation, but nobody has actually said what they'd do in a VERY specific situation.

What do you do when you realise someone close to you masturbates regularly? Fortunately I do not speak from experience here, though bizarrely two of my friends have been on the receiving end of this ordeal.

Firstly, Friend A. He is in fact an identical twin. Imagine your horror to walk in to find your identical brother saying hello to his monster. I don't know what would disgust you more - seeing the process, or the fact it's like watching yourself do it in some kind of freakish out-of-body experience.

Of course what made the situation worse is that he told his friends about it. Masturbation in our society is such a taboo subject now, that the only response his friends were capable of giving was that he will be scarred for life, his brother is gross, and that the whole situation is so hilarious that it's a wonder no one got a hernia. There is no other possible response, which is so weird since I suppose most of his (and my) male friends do bash the bishop quite regularly.

You may think it is bad to find your identical twin quoting himself happy, but Friend B will probably need therapy for a while. What happened to him? He found his mom's vibrator. You could argue that he at least didn't find it while it was being deployed, so to speak, but nonetheless, my male friends have treated this as though the sky were falling. It is completely unheard of that somebody's MOM might have sexual needs, and might need to masturbate.

I think this is partly down to the media - off the top of my head, all but one of the female masturbation scenes I can think of are either gross or funny. Look at the girl from "The Forty Year Old Virgin", who masturbates using a shower-head - this probably isn't all that strange, if you worked out how many women have done that at least once in their lives, yet all the blokes I know treated it as if she were putting babies on spikes.

The only scene from a film I can think of which didn't treat female masturbation as something gross, is actually American Pie. The scene where they watch the exchange student via webcam, which is being bad in a whole different way!

I did some very careful googling on the subject and hit upon the weirdest review of American Pie I think I've ever seen, written entirely from the perspective of how sexy this film is and how if you take your girlfriend to see it she'll definitely have sex with you. Read, if you dare.